Sent: 6/15/10

Greetings from Keystone Homebrew!

If you are like most dads we know, all you want for Fathers Day is an all expense paid trip to Keystone Homebrew Supply! Well, we have put together our version of a Fathers Day “gift registry” to help you and your family break the tragic cycle of bad ties and lost gift receipts. This year, just copy the following paragraph and the list below it into a new email and forward it to your children, your wife, your children’s wives, and anyone else with an outside chance of spending money on you. You should keep only the items on the list that interest you, and add any others that we missed. Remember to include details about styles, sizes, etc. Also, keep in mind that if it doesn’t work out quite the way you hoped, we have a very friendly exchange policy!

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Dear [insert name of loved one here],

I know I can be a real pain in the %$!*$ to shop for, but that’s all in the past. This year, I decided to make it easy for you to show some gratitude for all the years of patient nurturing and financial sacrifice I have endured on behalf of my children. I put together a list of great gift ideas for Fathers Day from my favorite store, Keystone Homebrew Supply. Feel free to select more than one! If you have any questions, I’m sure that the wonderfully helpful Keystone staff will be able to assist you. And if you are thoroughly confused or intimidated, they do sell GIFT CERTIFICATES!

Beer ingredient kits [list your favorites]
Wine box kits [list your favorites]
Cheesemaking kits (for soft or hard cheeses)
Bottle drying rack
Recipe books
New Blichman “Hop Blocker” kettle screens
Floor corkers (super easy to use)
Membership to the American Homebrewers Association
Thermostat override (turn an ordinary fridge into a lagering tank)
Blichmann Beer Gun (bottle straight from a keg)
Grain mills
Wort chillers
Automatic bottle fillers
Beer & wine glasses (such as the famous “Perfect Pint” glasses from Sam Adams)
Mugs & beer steins
Blichmann Boilermaker brew pots (complete with built-in thermometers, ball valves & sight glasses)
Bladder presses (the easiest, most efficient way to press grapes)
Beer & wine kegging systems
Refrigerator conversion kits (create a custom kegerator)