In this email:
Happy Holidays!
Inventory Clearance Sale

Both Stores: Closed Sunday, December 25 and Sunday, January 1
Montgomeryville: Closed Monday, Jan 2 for Inventory
Bethlehem: Closed Tuesday, Jan 3 for Inventory

We apologize if you have received this email already, but Comcast’s over active email filtration system initially decided that this important message was spam.

We at Keystone wish everyone a happy holiday season and hope that you all make New Year’s resolutions to brew much more beer and wine!

Shhhhhhh! We are having a sale (a really good sale!) and it is ONLY FOR OUR EMAIL CUSTOMERS. Here is the deal…soon we will be closed and counting everything in each of our stores (see the dates above). Since we only have so many fingers and toes, we are going to reduce our inventory by having a sale! YOU MUST BRING A CHARITABLE CONTRIBUTION (as described below) in order to take advantage of the sale. We will be offering a 10% discount off everything in the store, and an additional 5% off IF YOU PAY IN CASH***.

This will be our sixth annual sale benefiting local food drives. All you have to do is bring one or more non-perishable, non-breakable (no glass), not expired food items that might be appreciated by a person in need (no old pickled artichokes) to the store or bring a check made out to one of the listed organizations below. This year, Keystone Homebrew will be matching all monetary donations, and donating an additional $0.50 per pound of food contributing.

Food contributions at Keystone Montgomeryville will benefit Manna on Main Street ( Food contributions in Bethlehem will benefit the West Bethlehem Food Bank which is located in the Holy Trinity Lutheran Church at 514 3rd Avenue, Bethlehem, PA. Both of these organizations aim to provide food and support services to needy members of the community. Both organizations are recognized, tax-deductible organizations under IRS code 501 (c) (3).
Remember that other people in our store may not know about the sale, so keep it quiet! This sale will only be for Keystone Homebrew Supply customers who get our emails.

Here are the restrictions –
1. The sale is for in-stock items only. It may not be applied to deposits or the purchase of gift certificates.
2. You cannot combine this discount with any of our coupons or any other offers or discounts.
3. The sale is not retroactive to previous purchases.
4. You may forward this email to other people but they must give us a valid email address to get the discount.
5. In order to qualify for the extra 5% discount, you must pay in actual CASH. See below for details.
The sale will be in effect during our regular business hours from Monday, December 26, until Friday, December 30, and on Saturday, December 31 (New Year’s Eve) until we close at 4PM.

***CASH IS GREEN. Cash is issued by our government. It is either greenish papery stuff depicting famous dead Americans, or little round metal discs that used to be put into things called pay phones. Everything else (debit cards, gift certificates, personal checks, coupons, IOUs, pictures of your kids, leftover ham, etc.) fails to qualify for the bonus discount. Sorry!